back to my nocturnal ways
i am officially back to being a nocturnal animal.
i slept at 4am yest morning.. and ended up waking up onli at 11.30am.
in well.. cold sweat. cos i'd had a nightmare.
so bizarre and wierd.
but it felt so damn friggin REAL.. tt i was seriously spooked when i woke up.
i mean.. for awhile there.. i realli thought tt it had all happened.
its the wierdest thing. cos i woke up at the like climax of it. and honestly.. i was damn damn spooked. but i err.. shan't place it here.
im beyond it.. cos its so bizarre and i noe its simply ridiculous. shall save me sme bother in not putting it down.
i have decided i should re-do my blog. need ta give it a new look. and add in a tagboard again.
and if i can spare the time.. maybe i'll put up all the photo albums i realli should. haha
ehs i nearly forgot lah.
yest i was so concerned with myself and holding in all my stress and anger at my parents.. tt i forgot to mention smth.
announcement:
MY BROTHER SCORED 258 FOR HIS O'LEVELS!!
and well.. parents not so happy with that. cos he didn't quite do well enough to get into IP or smth. he's going to ACS(i) btw. oh well. its official, both my siblings are smarter than i. DAMn.
smehow.. todae's realli just flown by.
its amazing.
k.. i guess a lot of that hadta do with the fact that i slept at 4am and onli woke up at 11.30am.
but it was a good dae.
by all standards and especially in comparison to the past two days i've had since after A's. even though i would've liked to have been able ta go ta sentosa with t9. but well.
did my act of goodwill.
called mom after getting up. and we had the most decent 4min conversation i rmbr.
then i called icon shunji matsuo or smth and made an apptment for 1.30pm on tues. im gonna get my hair like curled.. or rather get them to make it wavy. but not permanently tho. chose ta set cos well, its cheaper.. and well.. that wae i can see if i like it and if i do.. i can alwaez go back and get it done.
yes so aft calling mum and making the apptment.. i went ta help mama in the kitchen. :) carolling coming up and there's lotsa cookin ta b done. she went thru her stored stuff and then we had bfast.. shared laksa cup noodles. hahas. then we prepared mee siam chilli and sme other chilli. lolx.
then both went ta the hall ta sit down over tv.
and i started to try and set up my new sony mp3 player.
damn.. i shld take a pic of it and show y'all.
its DAMN chio.
wish it came in green.
but blue's nice all the same.
well so over tv.. indiana jones and sme sad child-less marriage movie.. and then i looked at the clock.. shit 5.38pm. i meant ta go to mass. so i dropped everything quickly changed and zipped outta the house. walked to church frm home. got right into the church at about 5 past 6pm. phew. saw damien and went ta sit with him. then he said look left.. saw hiresh and his mom towards the left side of the church. and a lil further down was uncle andrew and aunty may. hahas. :0p then when we went for communion.. the communion minister was michael. haha..
so that's michael and wife, UA, AM, hiresh, dame and i from ALIVE all at mass todae. hahas. felt kinda nice. even though we didn't all sit together. kinda made me wish we had known we were all gonna b there.. then we cldve arranged ta sit together. :)
then aft tt dad picked bro and i up [bro happed ta b there for sme altar servers thingy].. i bought coke with lime frm the petrol kiosk to go home and try. then came home and ate dinner with mama.
the whole dae.. it was jus mama, kumari and i at home.
so lovely.
peaceful, quiet, beautiful.
-dad, van, ju -> gone to the computer fair
-mak-ko --> out for dinner
-mum --> out for an office dinner
then the rest of the night spent uploading my new player.
and well here i am.
thought i would finish uploading and then look thru my style magazine.
hopefully ta get more ideas or options for hair.
but ended up takin so long.
my parents are going techie. :)
their christmas present to the kids is an ibook.
like whoa.
and mum won a sony camera. the t5. like super-whoa.
well i've had lots of time to think lately. and there're many paradoxes in life, i've realised.
paradox of studying
-you pick wad you like.. as ur course of study.
-but in the course of studying it.. and all that's involved [by which i mean exams, hmwk, projects, drils, tests] not to mention STRESS,
-you inevitably lose sme of the fun of that which you thought you liked.
-its so wierd.. i had trouble keeping up when i was mugging for A's.
-but then since after A's.. i've found my nocturnal nature again.
-baffling.
paradox of love
-liking smeone can realli hurt
-thinking that you could like smeone whom you originally didn't realli see that way, and warming towards that idea, onli to find that the other changed his mind along the way, can realli hurt.
[even tho you didn't actually start out seriously liking him]
-betrayal of hope for me i guess.
-cruel to be kind. that whole concept. fundamentally contradictory.
-me making smth big out of smth that nvr actually happened.
[you can't technically get over smth that never quite took off properly]
-and yet the hate replaces the hurt in an attempt to put up that brave front.
[cos i noe i over-reacted]
-and yet.. maybe partly.. the hurt kinda got rationalised awae.
-and strangely enough.. not having anyone to like.. im finding, is wierd too.
-makes me feel.. kinda empty.
-and i dont noe how to explain it.
[in eustacia terms.. i guess its a loss of smeone to idealise.]
-i guess the dream jus fell apart. the picture fell apart like a pile of cards.
paradox of temptation
-how is it, that everytime..
-the good stuff is alwaez showing on tv when u've gotta fight ta resist it in the light of more important stuff.
-and then when you're free.. there nvr seems to be anything much good on tv.
-alwaez seems ta be the case. DAMn idiots.
looks like im gonna b home again todae.
char nvr pick up the fone. :(
thought we might go out to find accessories or smth. oh well. we'll see.
nvm.. got ALIVE stuff i can try and figure out.
and maybe i'll try ta give this blog a make-over as well.
might be a good thing.. esp since im being nocturnal again.
im tired. but not seriously tired. still quite awae smehow.
im hungry. this happens everytime i stay up.
im empty. in more ways than one.
sadistic is..
-checking all three blogs everytime i come online.
[three different blogs belonging to three different pple.. frm three different angles of reasons.]
i slept at 4am yest morning.. and ended up waking up onli at 11.30am.
in well.. cold sweat. cos i'd had a nightmare.
so bizarre and wierd.
but it felt so damn friggin REAL.. tt i was seriously spooked when i woke up.
i mean.. for awhile there.. i realli thought tt it had all happened.
its the wierdest thing. cos i woke up at the like climax of it. and honestly.. i was damn damn spooked. but i err.. shan't place it here.
im beyond it.. cos its so bizarre and i noe its simply ridiculous. shall save me sme bother in not putting it down.
i have decided i should re-do my blog. need ta give it a new look. and add in a tagboard again.
and if i can spare the time.. maybe i'll put up all the photo albums i realli should. haha
ehs i nearly forgot lah.
yest i was so concerned with myself and holding in all my stress and anger at my parents.. tt i forgot to mention smth.
announcement:
and well.. parents not so happy with that. cos he didn't quite do well enough to get into IP or smth. he's going to ACS(i) btw. oh well. its official, both my siblings are smarter than i. DAMn.
smehow.. todae's realli just flown by.
its amazing.
k.. i guess a lot of that hadta do with the fact that i slept at 4am and onli woke up at 11.30am.
but it was a good dae.
by all standards and especially in comparison to the past two days i've had since after A's. even though i would've liked to have been able ta go ta sentosa with t9. but well.
did my act of goodwill.
called mom after getting up. and we had the most decent 4min conversation i rmbr.
then i called icon shunji matsuo or smth and made an apptment for 1.30pm on tues. im gonna get my hair like curled.. or rather get them to make it wavy. but not permanently tho. chose ta set cos well, its cheaper.. and well.. that wae i can see if i like it and if i do.. i can alwaez go back and get it done.
yes so aft calling mum and making the apptment.. i went ta help mama in the kitchen. :) carolling coming up and there's lotsa cookin ta b done. she went thru her stored stuff and then we had bfast.. shared laksa cup noodles. hahas. then we prepared mee siam chilli and sme other chilli. lolx.
then both went ta the hall ta sit down over tv.
and i started to try and set up my new sony mp3 player.
damn.. i shld take a pic of it and show y'all.
its DAMN chio.
wish it came in green.
but blue's nice all the same.
well so over tv.. indiana jones and sme sad child-less marriage movie.. and then i looked at the clock.. shit 5.38pm. i meant ta go to mass. so i dropped everything quickly changed and zipped outta the house. walked to church frm home. got right into the church at about 5 past 6pm. phew. saw damien and went ta sit with him. then he said look left.. saw hiresh and his mom towards the left side of the church. and a lil further down was uncle andrew and aunty may. hahas. :0p then when we went for communion.. the communion minister was michael. haha..
so that's michael and wife, UA, AM, hiresh, dame and i from ALIVE all at mass todae. hahas. felt kinda nice. even though we didn't all sit together. kinda made me wish we had known we were all gonna b there.. then we cldve arranged ta sit together. :)
then aft tt dad picked bro and i up [bro happed ta b there for sme altar servers thingy].. i bought coke with lime frm the petrol kiosk to go home and try. then came home and ate dinner with mama.
the whole dae.. it was jus mama, kumari and i at home.
so lovely.
peaceful, quiet, beautiful.
-dad, van, ju -> gone to the computer fair
-mak-ko --> out for dinner
-mum --> out for an office dinner
then the rest of the night spent uploading my new player.
and well here i am.
thought i would finish uploading and then look thru my style magazine.
hopefully ta get more ideas or options for hair.
but ended up takin so long.
my parents are going techie. :)
their christmas present to the kids is an ibook.
like whoa.
and mum won a sony camera. the t5. like super-whoa.
well i've had lots of time to think lately. and there're many paradoxes in life, i've realised.
paradox of studying
-you pick wad you like.. as ur course of study.
-but in the course of studying it.. and all that's involved [by which i mean exams, hmwk, projects, drils, tests] not to mention STRESS,
-you inevitably lose sme of the fun of that which you thought you liked.
-its so wierd.. i had trouble keeping up when i was mugging for A's.
-but then since after A's.. i've found my nocturnal nature again.
-baffling.
paradox of love
-liking smeone can realli hurt
-thinking that you could like smeone whom you originally didn't realli see that way, and warming towards that idea, onli to find that the other changed his mind along the way, can realli hurt.
[even tho you didn't actually start out seriously liking him]
-betrayal of hope for me i guess.
-cruel to be kind. that whole concept. fundamentally contradictory.
-me making smth big out of smth that nvr actually happened.
[you can't technically get over smth that never quite took off properly]
-and yet the hate replaces the hurt in an attempt to put up that brave front.
[cos i noe i over-reacted]
-and yet.. maybe partly.. the hurt kinda got rationalised awae.
-and strangely enough.. not having anyone to like.. im finding, is wierd too.
-makes me feel.. kinda empty.
-and i dont noe how to explain it.
[in eustacia terms.. i guess its a loss of smeone to idealise.]
-i guess the dream jus fell apart. the picture fell apart like a pile of cards.
paradox of temptation
-how is it, that everytime..
-the good stuff is alwaez showing on tv when u've gotta fight ta resist it in the light of more important stuff.
-and then when you're free.. there nvr seems to be anything much good on tv.
-alwaez seems ta be the case. DAMn idiots.
looks like im gonna b home again todae.
char nvr pick up the fone. :(
thought we might go out to find accessories or smth. oh well. we'll see.
nvm.. got ALIVE stuff i can try and figure out.
and maybe i'll try ta give this blog a make-over as well.
might be a good thing.. esp since im being nocturnal again.
im tired. but not seriously tired. still quite awae smehow.
im hungry. this happens everytime i stay up.
im empty. in more ways than one.
sadistic is..
-checking all three blogs everytime i come online.
[three different blogs belonging to three different pple.. frm three different angles of reasons.]
posted by cher at
01:18
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