to darth vader

there is smth about this song.
kinda made me think.
some parts apply.
and some definitely dont.
all the same.. i thought i'd put e lyrics here.

No Regrets [Robbie Williams]
Tell me a story
Where we all change
And we'd live our lives together
And not enstranged

I didn't lose my mind it was
Mine to give away
Couldn't stay to watch me cry
You didn't have the time
So I softly slip away...

No regrets they don't work
No regrets they only hurt
Sing me a love song
Drop me a line
Suppose it's just a point of view
But they tell me I'm doing fine

I know from the outside
We looked good for each other
Felt things were going wrong
When you didn't like my mother didn't even tell me ur bdae had just passed.

I don't want to hate but that's
All you've left me with
A bitter aftertaste and a fantasy of
How we all could live

No regrets they don't work
No regrets they only hurt
(We've been told you stay up late)
I know they're still talking
(You're far too short to carry weight)
The demons in your head
(Return the videos they're late)
If I could just stop hating you
(Goodbye)
I'd feel sorry for us instead

Remember the photographs (insane)
The ones where we all laugh (so lame)
We were having the time of our lives
Well thank you it was a real blast for nothing very much, realli.

No regrets they don't work
No regrets they only hurt
Write me a love song
Drop me a line
Suppose it's just a point of view
But they tell me I'm doing fine

Everything I wanted to had thought it could be
every time I walked away
Everytime you told me to leave
I just wanted to stay
Every time you looked at me and
Everytime you smiled
I felt so vacant you treat me like a child
I loved the way we used to laugh
I loved the way we used to smile
Often I sit down and think of you
For a while
Then it passes by me and I think of
Someone else instead

I guess the love possibility we once had is
OFFICIALLY DEAD.

- but i dont regret how things have turned out. most of the time.
im learning.. how to let go of emotional baggage.
im learning.. what a dipshit you are.
im learning.. [the hard way] where over-reading all the time gets you.

see. told you.
the sadist in me.

im fine.
its jus that every once in awhile.. can't help going back to thoughts of 'then' when i come across certain things.

but, no regrets.
im not your friend anymore.
and neither are you mine.
we dont talk.
we dont smile when we see each other.
we dont communicate at all.

and its jus as well.
cos i dont wanna be friends with you animore aniwae.
and there's no mending the broken path.
so i'll just leave it behind.
it was a mere mistake.
a path i shld nvr have taken.
let it fade awae and the cobwebs creep over it.

yet every once in awhile.. a lil smth stupid comes up and reminds me of you.
and its dredged up again.
ugly. experience.
the cost of taking the jump.

my first real jump of that sort.
nth particularly record breaking.. but my own personal record.
onli.. its turned out, not a personal best, but a personal worst.
the sting remains. everytime.
onli its less potent now.

yet, its almost silly.
cos in so many ways, it wasn't much at all.
not very much was shared between us.
not very much was done.
not very much of anything at all.
you started to give.. and i thought a possibility was arising.
you weren't even actually a consideration in that way. at first.
i was greedy for a first taste.
and came to think you could be a 'maybe' and tt i didn't mind giving it a shot.
a hope was born within me.
but then i started to give more than you.
you can feel when the connection's lost.
and all that remained was for me to confirm. that the lines were dead.
which stung more than i thought it would.

you weren't everything. [you NEVER were]
but i had thought that maybe there could be a chance.
and jus as i began to remove the bricks around my guarded heart..
i find its time to build that wall back up again.

isn't it amazing how i can hurt frm smth that never properly quite happened?
and yet.. maybe more sting than actual, real hurt per se.
stupidly naiive me, made smth out of smth.. i was right, at the beginning at least, but you changed ur mind.
shld've read the signs. and trusted wad i thought earlier.

and yet.. i guess its cos it was my first real taste.
it began as semi-sweet.. and then.. it just got more and more bitter.
and i've no taste for it anymore.
spat out that awful stuff.

i deserved to have been treated better.

and i deserve better.
someday, you'll see.