--

i take it all back.

i was reading my 'Our Daily Bread' before i went to sleep yesterday.
and it was about.. living life as it it were your last day on earth.
and it mentioned.. doing things you had been putting off and that kind of thing.

and i believe [if i rmbr correctly] it said:

what are the five things you would do.. if this were your last day on earth?

here's what came to mind:
-go to church/pray
-resolve relations with a friend
-spend time with my best friend
-spend time with family

but what i'd like to know.. is how.. are you really supposed to find the energy, strength, zest..
to live each day out as if it were your last.

some days.. i like myself.. cos i think about how the whole day's gone, what's happened and all.. and it was wonderful. perhaps, not always exactly the way i planned it.. but still.. wonderful.

other days.. i hate myself.. cos i let myself lose it [temper] and sent bad vibes to everyone around me which in turn put them in bad moods.. and it was awful, terrible, disastrous.
definitely, not the way i planned it.

i think im going to paste smth on my wall.. [in such a position that it's the first thing i see when i sit up in bed in the morning]

'THANK GOD FOR TODAY"

maybe that will work? maybe.

--
mum's right.
and im wrong.
just like usual.

and yes.. mum's do always push.

smetimes.. i wonder where i'd be if she didn't/hadn't pushed me.
other times.. i wish she wld just leave me be and let me have some space to breathe for awhile.

and the worse.. is when one person pushes. and then others get involved.. and start asking about the whole thing.. and then take sides.. [and obviously.. dont take your side].. and then they start nagging and pushing too. when all you want to do.. is not talk about it and not have to explain it to smeone who won't understand anyway -which is why you didn't tell tt person in the first place.

whoo. okay. it's off my chest.

--

i can't find a song. till further notice.